A Secret of the Soul (Amish Secrets--Book 6) Page 3

  ~

  “Hi!”

  Elam turned from the snack table and found Megan standing next to him. “Hello.” He smiled.

  “Elam, right?” She reached her hand forward and he shook it. “I’m Megan.”

  “Good to meet you, Megan.”

  “I’m glad you made it tonight. Will you come again?”

  He shrugged. “I’m not certain. Probably, though.”

  “Good. Did you have a good time?”

  “Jah. Yes.”

  “I think I’ve seen you in church a few times. I’m in the nursery or teaching Sunday school quite a bit, so I don’t get a chance to mingle too much.”

  “You like children?”

  She laughed and he wondered why. “Yes, I do. Do you?”

  He shrugged. “Sure.”

  “So, are you from around here, Elam?”

  He nodded. “Yeah. I was born in Ohio, but my folks moved down to Kentucky when I was about fifteen.”

  “How old are you now?”

  “I’m twenty-seven. You?”

  “Twenty-three.” She smiled, and he thought her quite becoming.

  Would it be proper to ask her out on a date? Or should he ask her brother? Did she even have a brother? He was unsure. He’d never dated an Englischer, so this was all unfamiliar territory.

  “Well, it was nice meeting you, Elam.” Megan looked at him and then back to the door where another young woman stood. “I think Hayley wants to go now. I hope to see you here next time.”

  “You, too.” He watched as she walked toward the other girl and the two of them exited the building.

  Chase joined him at the table. “Did you ask her out?”

  “What?”

  Chase smiled. “It’s pretty obvious Megan likes you.”

  Elam frowned. “She does?”

  “I’ve never seen her talk to any guy that long.”

  “That would be appropriate?”

  “What? To ask her out? Why not?” He chuckled.

  “I don’t know. Do you think she would say yes?”

  Chase clasped his shoulder. “There’s only one way to find out, buddy.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Elam hung up the phone. The insurance agent had suggested that he pay for the damage out-of-pocket since his deductible was five hundred dollars and the buggy repairs would most likely be less than that amount. And it would be preferable to reporting the incident and having it on his record.

  But now he had a problem. He didn’t have Martha Yoder’s phone number and had no idea where she lived. Who knew how much the community had changed in the time he’d been gone. The only way to find out is to drive through Amish country again. This time, though, he’d take his motorcycle. And maybe, since he was looking for a Yoder, he’d stop by the ice cream shop to see if he could locate Martha and possibly learn something of Julianna’s whereabouts. He just hoped he could remain undetected.

  ~

  There appeared to be only one person manning the ice cream counter as Elam approached.

  “I’d like one scoop of mint ’n chip and one of peanut butter and chocolate, please.” He eyed the teen boy over the counter as he handed him the money. Could he possibly be Julie’s younger brother, Mark? Her brother had been about ten when they dated. He mentally counted what his age would be now. Yes, it was possible.

  “What happened to the Amish girl who used to work here?” He attempted to sound as casual as he could.

  “Molly got hitched last year.” He handed Elam the ice cream cone.

  “Her name wasn’t Molly. Julianna?”

  He hated that he was trying to be deceitful, yet he couldn’t let on that he had been Amish.

  The boy frowned and studied him carefully. “Who wants to know?”

  “I’m just curious. She was kind and always had a nice smile.”

  The boy smiled briefly but then it fell flat. “She’s dead.”

  The revelation nearly knocked the wind out of him. No! God, please don’t let it be true. Please. There were so many things he’d left unsaid. “What? But she… How?”

  The boy shook his head, then walked toward the back of the shop. Apparently, that would be all he would get out of him. But it was enough, wasn’t it? If Julianna was gone, little else mattered.

  Elam took a piece of paper from his pocket, remembering his other reason for coming. “Excuse me. Do you know where I can find this person?”

  “Why do you ask?” He eyed him suspiciously.

  “I hit her buggy with my truck the other day and I contacted my insurance company. I need to discuss what they said with her.” Surely, the whole community had already heard about the buggy accident. News like that traveled faster than any newspaper in their community.

  The young man nodded. “My cousin Martha. Lives down in the holler off Milton Ridge Road. Third house. Can’t miss it.”

  “Milton Ridge Road. Okay, thank you for your help.” Elam smiled and left a dollar and a Gospel tract on the counter. “A tip for you.” He nodded and walked back out to his motorcycle.

  He looked at his cone, only half eaten, and decided he should have only gotten one scoop. He leaned against the bike and thought about what Julianna’s brother had said about her. As sadness filled him once again, he no longer felt like finishing his ice cream cone.

  A million questions filled his mind. Questions he had to find the answers to, but had no clue how to go about getting them without revealing his identity. But if he did reveal his identity, the answers would be closed off for sure.

  How did Julianna die? When did she die? Was she married? Who did she marry? Did she die giving birth? Did she leave a family behind? How old was she?

  Maybe, if he played his cards right, he could possibly get answers from Martha. Surely she knew what had befallen her cousin. He had to think of a way he could get her alone. But how?

  ~

  Elam veered right and turned into what he presumed to be the Yoder family’s driveway. The house and barn certainly wouldn’t be mistaken for the grandest home in the Amish community. However, it seemed clean and tasteful.

  He immediately noticed a young woman hanging out clothes on the line beside the house. It looked like it could be Martha. As soon as he stopped the motorcycle and dismounted, she began heading to the house, most likely to inform a male member of the household so he could speak with him. If only he could catch her before she went inside.

  He quickly replaced his motorcycle helmet with his ball cap.

  “Martha,” he called out.

  She turned and he waved, hoping she’d recognize him. She stopped, as though contemplating what to do.

  “I got ahold of my insurance company from the buggy accident.” He took a few steps closer.

  She nodded and proceeded to walk toward the house.

  “Wait. May I speak with you?”

  She looked back toward the house, then looked at him, probably to determine whether he was harmless or not. She nodded again and began walking toward him.

  Would she be scared off if he began talking about Julianna right away? He had to chance it before another member of the Yoder family joined them.

  “Are you related to Julianna Yoder?”

  Her eyes immediately flew wide.

  “I was a friend. Her brother told me that she passed away.”

  She nodded. “Jah.”

  Her confirmation sent another arrow through his heart and he frowned. “Do you know who she was married to?”

  “Nee. She is…was not married.”

  “She wasn’t? Really? I thought for sure… When did she die?”

  “Nearly two years ago.”

  “How?”

  She seemed uncomfortable, but he had to press on. He needed to get as much information as he could.

  She frowned, obviously ill at ease with this conversation. “Uh, sickness.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. Her folks, do they still live in the same place?”

  “Jah.”

&nbs
p; A young man descended the steps and began walking in their direction.

  “Listen, Martha. I would appreciate it if you didn’t say anything to anyone about our conversation.” His tone was low.

  She nodded.

  “May I help you?” The young man approached. This man seemed a little older than the one who’d been at the scene of the accident.

  “Yes. I was in the accident with Martha here.” He looked to her and lifted a half smile. “I was just telling her that I spoke with my insurance company. Did you have the buggy repaired?”

  “Jah. Just yesterday.”

  “Do you have a receipt for how much it cost?”

  “Nee. My father fixed it. Probably cost him less than a hundred.” He shrugged.

  Elam fished his wallet out of his pocket and handed him two hundred dollar bills. “Please give him this for parts and labor. Will you see that he gets it?”

  The man smiled ever so slightly and nodded.

  “Thank you. Good day.” He tipped his baseball cap at them and shared a knowing glance with Martha before hopping back on his motorcycle.

  “Sorry again, about the accident.” He waved, put his helmet on, and then started the engine and headed down the road.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  For the second time that week, there Elam was out at Zach’s ranch, searching for answers. He couldn’t sleep last night with the heartbreaking information he’d received from Julianna’s brother and Martha churning in his mind.

  He had a hard time believing the truth of the situation. He could accept it if Julianna had moved on and gotten married, or moved away even. But dead? No. She couldn’t be dead. His heart refused to believe it.

  He’d lain awake thinking of all the things he would have said to her—should have said to her—had she still been alive. And Zach’s prediction, as ridiculous as the notion was, had been correct—she hadn’t been married. That was the kicker. How on earth could she have remained single?

  When they’d courted, he was sure they’d had something that was real. Something that was true. Something that would last a lifetime. There was no doubt in his mind whatsoever. So when that fateful day came, the day they broke up, it had come as a complete shock to him.

  At the time, he’d said things to her that he wished he could take back now. But there wouldn’t be any taking back of anything. Julianna had died believing the words he’d spoken to her. Words that had stemmed from the hurt in his heart. Words that weren’t even true. Why had he uttered them at all? Why had he waited to go back until it was too late?

  This news of her death dug up old wounds that refused to be healed. If only he could have another chance. But he knew another chance was an impossibility.

  What pained his heart the most now, was her eternal destiny. Did she ever come to know Jesus as her Saviour or did she die in her sins? If she was like most in their community, she’d been putting her stock into the fact that she was Amish, and doing her best to be a good person. They had never been taught that salvation was a free gift that could not be earned. Why hadn’t he attempted to go back sooner and talk to her about it?

  It was something he would, no doubt, regret his entire life. I’m sorry, Julie. I’m truly sorry.

  ~

  Elam locked eyes with Zachariah. “I went back.”

  “And?” His expression was one of anticipation.

  He couldn’t help the moisture that pricked his eyes, no matter how hard he tried to suppress it. “She’s gone, Zach.”

  “Gone?” Zach frowned.

  He nodded. “Julianna is dead.”

  Zach’s jaw dropped. “Are you serious?”

  “I’m dead serious.”

  Zach shook his head. “That wasn’t funny.”

  “I’m not trying to be funny.”

  “I’m really sorry, man.” He clasped his shoulder.

  “Why didn’t I go back sooner?”

  “I don’t know. You weren’t ready, I guess.”

  “I feel so helpless. I want to do something. I want to hold her close one last time. Apologize.” He felt like an idiot, crying in Zach’s presence but he couldn’t stop his tears. He’d loved Julianna with everything in him.

  “It’s tough. Believe me, I know. I felt the same way when John died. He was gone and I felt responsible for his death. There was no way I could go back and thank him for all he’d done for me. I owe him my life.”

  “I know he was a good friend to you.”

  “The best.” Zach shook his head. “And now, I have Rosanna and our children, and I’m raising John’s son. It’s unbelievable that God would find me worthy of any of these blessings. But I realized that it’s not about my worthiness. It’s about His goodness. His grace.”

  “The worst part about it is that I don’t even know if Julie was saved.” His heart squeezed tight at just the mention of it.

  “That’s hard, man. But there’s not a single thing you can do to change the past. You have to move forward.”

  Elam dropped his head into his hands. “I know.”

  “God is going to somehow work this out for the good. You have His Word on it.”

  He looked at his cousin. “Thank you. I really needed that word of encouragement.”

  “Anytime.” Zachariah shook his head. “I know this might not be the best time to say this, cousin, but I think you need to hear it.”

  Elam shrugged and took a deep shuttering breath. “Go ahead, I can take it.”

  “You need to find someone else. Someone that you can invest your time and your money in, and someone to care for.”

  “I thought that’s what Scramble was for,” Elam chuckled.

  Zach tossed a menacing look at Elam. “You’re helpless, you know that?”

  “Do you think I should spend more time with the guys at the Y?”

  “You could. But I was thinking more along the lines of a girlfriend.”

  “A girlfriend? Where on earth would I find a girlfriend?” An image of pretty Megan flitted through his mind.

  “Why don’t you pray about it?”

  “Pray about it, huh?” Elam shrugged. “I guess I can do that.”

  ~

  Elam woke up refreshed the next day, after having given his worries to God. There was a good chance he’d never get the answers to all the unknown questions zigzagging through his head, and that was something he’d have to come to terms with. Fretting about something he couldn’t change was fruitless.

  He would attempt to move forward, as Zachariah had suggested. He couldn’t do anything about Julianna, so he determined to move on with his life—as difficult as it was. And that meant trying to forget about her.

  “Well, what do you think, Scramble?” Elam looked down at his dog, who cocked his head.

  “Julie’s not coming back. Zach was right. There’s nothing I can do about it now. I need to move on.”

  Scramble licked Elam’s hand. “Okay, go get it, boy!” He threw the tennis ball and the dog raced to the fence.

  Scramble brought the ball back and dropped it at Elam’s feet. “So, was that a yes? Should I ask Megan out?”

  Scramble whined and tilted his head.

  “Never mind, Scramble. Fetch.” He tossed the ball again and mumbled to himself. “I really need to talk to a human.” Because, while dogs were great companions, they gave lousy dating advice.

  CHAPTER SIX

  “Elam’s thinking of asking Megan out.” Zach’s amused expression met his wife.

  “Oh, she’s sweet. I’ve talked to her in the nursery many times. I think you two would make a cute couple.” Rosanna smiled.

  “You do?” Elam looked at Zach’s wife.

  “Yes, I do. Did you talk to her father?” Rosanna bounced the baby on her hip.

  “Her father?”

  “Yes, Brother Hal.” Zach nodded.

  “I didn’t know she was the deacon’s daughter.” He frowned. “So, I’m supposed to ask him first?”

  Zach laughed. “You look petrified. I actu
ally have no idea how the Englisch do dating, but this looks like it’s gonna be fun to watch.”

  “Thanks for your help, man,” Elam said wryly.

  Zach chuckled. “Anytime.”

  “Now that I think about it, Chase said something about asking her out.” Elam shifted in his seat attempting to psychoanalyze what exactly Chase meant by his suggestion.

  “That could present a problem.” Zach cocked a brow. “So, Chase wants to date her too?”

  “No, I do. I think.” Elam chuckled nervously. What did he know about how the Englisch dated? Nothing, that’s what.

  “Well, I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt getting to know her.” Rosanna chimed in. “As far as I know, she’s not seeing anyone.”

  “You might not want to wait too long, Elam. If she’s a fine catch, chances are, you’re not the only one with your pole in the pond.”

  “What?”

  “Just ask her out.”

  Elam swallowed the knot in his throat. “Okay.”

  ~

  Elam tapped his fingers on his trousers as he waited for Megan to exit the sanctuary. He leaned against his vehicle and took a deep breath, soaking in the early afternoon rays and attempting to calm his nerves. He’d purposely parked next to Megan’s car, a Volkswagen Beetle that he thought suited her perfectly. It was cute and little, just like its owner. And parked next to his beefy truck, the car seemed even more petite.

  Megan’s smile met his as she strolled toward her vehicle, purse and Bible in hand.

  “Hi, Elam.”

  “Hi.” This was his chance. It was now or never. “Are you, uh, do you want to go out?”

  Her face brightened even more. “For lunch?”

  He nodded. Did he have cotton stuck in his throat?

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I have a casserole in the oven at home.” She grimaced.

  Not interested.

  Elam shrugged, trying to attempt nonchalance and hide his disappointment. “That’s okay. I understand.” Was she just making an excuse?

  “Would you like to join me?”

  Apparently not.

  “For lunch today?” As if eavesdropping on their conversation, his stomach growled.