A Secret of the Heart (Amish Secrets--Book 3) Page 9

  “Take your hand off me!” She swiftly batted his hand away and desperately searched for a way of escape. She could lock herself in the bathroom. Lillianna rushed to the bathroom with all her being.

  “You won’t get away.” Clay caught her arm. “Come on, baby, let’s have some fun.”

  “This isn’t fun!” Lillianna couldn’t suppress the tears that surfaced. “Please, let me go.”

  “I’m afraid I can’t do that. But I can promise you this; you’ll enjoy this much more if you just relax a little bit.” He kept a grip on one arm and pulled her to the bed.

  “No. I’m marrying Thomas! He will–”

  “If he makes it home alive – and that’s a big if – Thomas will never know. Unless, of course, you tell him.” He bent down and whispered in her ear, his breath hot on her neck. “This will be our little secret, just between you and me.”

  She squirmed under his grasp and frantically thought of something to say to persuade him otherwise. “But your wife. She’ll find out. I’ll tell her.”

  “And lose all your precious money for Thomas’ treatments?” He clicked his tongue. “We both know you’re much smarter than that. Besides, you and Candace are such good friends now. You’d hate to throw that friendship away. And she’ll never take your word over mine.”

  “I’ll tell the police! You’ll go to jail.” She squirmed as he leaned in against her, pinning her between his body and the comforter.

  “Now, now. And here I thought you were a nice Amish girl. Even so, that might be difficult to do since I know all the lawmen and judges around here. Besides, they all have their mistresses too. Hmm…I could probably have you arrested, though.”

  Lillianna gasped. “Me? What for?”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “Hmm…I don’t know. How does theft sound?”

  “But I haven’t stolen anything. I wouldn’t.”

  “Oh, how naïve you Amish girls are.” He quickly removed his shirt, then bent down and kissed her on the mouth.

  Lillianna spit in his face and once again struggled to get free.

  Clay wiped the saliva off his cheek. “Have it your way.” His hand flew across Lillianna’s cheek causing a sharp sting. “I wanted to play nice, but it seems like you want to fight. Let’s kiss and make up?”

  “Please, let me go,” Lillianna broke down in tears. “Don’t do this!” she cried in desperation.

  “There, there, now.” He wiped away one of her tears. “I didn’t want to hit you but you gave me no choice. Just relax, baby. I promise it won’t be so bad. You might actually enjoy it. The quicker you unwind, the sooner we’ll be done and I can go meet my family.”

  Lillianna attempted to push him off of her, but she was no match for his strength. She frantically wrestled for several moments, trying to break free, but he continued to advance. Exhausted physically and emotionally, she didn’t possess the energy to keep up the struggle.

  “That’s right. Smart girl.”

  No! Please, no.

  Lillianna had never hated anyone in her life, but at this moment she found loving her enemy impossible.

  <><><>

  Thomas couldn’t shake the feeling of foreboding. Something wasn’t quite right, although he had no clue what it was. Was it Lil? He rapidly picked up the phone and dialed the number. It rang continually, but no one ever answered. Perhaps Lil was outside? He’d have to try again later.

  <><><>

  Lillianna shook like a leaf in the wind, clinging to the tree for dear life. Her eyes popped open and she realized where she was – in Clay Stevenson’s bed. She hoped she’d just had a nightmare, but the evidence testified otherwise. Remembering the struggle hours before, she began sobbing again. Life would never be the same after this. Never.

  She quickly sat up and the sheet slipped off her bare body. Lillianna hastily grabbed the sheet and protectively covered her body again. She looked for the robe she’d been wearing earlier and spotted a note on the pillow next to her. It bore the congressman’s handwriting. Thanks for the good time. Until next time, Clay.

  Until next time? Lillianna crumpled the note, threw it at the wall, and screamed.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Lillianna heard Candace and the children’s voices downstairs. Oh, how she’d been dreading this day! It had been just two days since the act. Two grueling horrible days of pain and loneliness. She wasn’t ready to face the world yet. Would she ever be ready?

  She’d have to get out of bed now to attend to the family’s needs. No doubt they would have oodles of laundry. And they’d expect supper. Just the thought of being around food – or people, for that matter – made her feel like retching.

  And how was she going to face him? The thought of seeing Clay Stevenson’s face caused her jaw to tighten and her hands to go numb; rage and total helplessness coursed through her being at the same time. If only she could unleash her wrath on Clay. If only she could get back her sense of dignity and joy – two things he’d stolen, taken against her will.

  But it was her own fault, wasn’t it? If she hadn’t worn that dress to the charity event, perhaps Clay never would have noticed her. She should have listened to her conscience and not gone. She should have refused to wear anything but her Amish clothes. She couldn’t bear the thought of Dat and Mamm finding out. What would they say? They’d be ashamed for certain sure.

  If only Thomas had been here. He could have saved her from this wickedness. Tommy could have – no, would have – sent Congressman Stevenson across the room. If Thomas knew that he’d so much as touched her, there’s a good chance Clay Stevenson would barely be breathing. But because of that fact, she couldn’t say anything about this to Tommy until his treatments were completed. She wasn’t going to lose Thomas, no matter what. If the treatments fail…no, she wouldn’t think about that, wouldn’t even entertain the thought. Tommy was going to get well. He had to get well.

  “Lilly?” Candace’s sweet voice echoed through the door.

  “Jah?”

  “May I come in?”

  “Uh, jah.” Lillianna quickly pulled the blanket up around her neck.

  The door creaked open. Candace gasped when Lilly’s cold eyes met hers. “Lilly, are you sick? What happened to your face? Your cheek looks bruised.”

  Lillianna began to panic. I have a bruise? She touched her hand to her cheek and felt the soreness. She hadn’t looked in the mirror, was too ashamed to. “I…I’m not feeling well.”

  “Oh my, you don’t look well at all. I’ll call the doctor and–”

  “No! I don’t want to see a doctor. I just need to rest.” The last thing she desired was having to explain her condition to a physician.

  Candace put her hand over Lillianna’s forehead and frowned. “Well, at least there’s no fever. If you get worse, I insist you see a doctor. Until then, why don’t you take a couple of days off to recover? I’m capable of handling the children for a little while.”

  “Denki.”

  Their eyes turned to the open door at Congressman Stevenson’s voice. “What’s going on?”

  Lillianna quickly looked away. Clay Stevenson was the last person she desired to see or hear. As far as she was concerned, she wished she’d never have to see him again.

  “Lillianna isn’t feeling well. I told her to take a couple of days off,” Candace said.

  He frowned. “Out partying all weekend, huh? I’ve heard these Amish kids really live it up during their ‘rump spring’ or whatever it’s called. Got a hangover?” He raised an eyebrow at Lillianna.

  Candace gasped. “Clay, that’s uncharitable.”

  If only Lillianna’s eyes could literally shoot daggers.

  “We’ll let you rest now,” Candace said, ushering her husband out.

  Lillianna watched as the couple exited, and would have strangled her pillow to death if it had been possible.

  <><><>

  Thomas figured Lillianna must’ve gone out of town with the Stevenson family, since she hadn’t answered al
l weekend. Since it was Monday, they should have arrived back home. He picked up the phone and dialed Lil’s number. One, two, three, four…he was about to hang up at the fifth ring.

  “Hello?” she answered.

  Thomas sighed when he finally heard Lillianna’s voice. “How’s the most beautiful girl in the world doing?”

  “Uh, I – I haven’t been feeling very well.” Lillianna’s voice sounded hoarse to his ears.

  “Got a bad cold? You sound terrible.”

  “I think I’m beginning to feel better.”

  “I’m sorry, babe. Wish I could be there to hold you and nurse you back to health.” He frowned.

  “No, Tommy. You stay there and get better.”

  “Don’t worry, Lil. I think I am getting better. I know I feel better.”

  “That’s gut.”

  He didn’t want to hang up, but felt he should. “Well, I’ll let you go so you can get some rest.”

  “Denki.” Lillianna hesitated. Did she not want to hang up either? “Tommy?”

  “Yes?”

  “Have you watched any of the videos yet?”

  He knew it was coming eventually. “I have.”

  “And?”

  “They’re quite compelling. I’ll be honest with you. That man has seriously challenged some of the things I believe. I want to do some research to see if what this guy is saying is true.”

  “I’m glad.”

  “Don’t hold your breath, Lil.”

  “I won’t. I’ll pray. That’s much more effective.”

  Thomas chuckled. “That’s one of the things I love about you. Ever faithful.”

  “Well, I better go now.” Lillianna never did know how to receive praise.

  “I love you, Lil.”

  “I love you too, Tommy. Goodbye.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  “Lillianna, Clay and I have been talking,” Candace said, over their morning cup of coffee. “We purchased an extra ticket and we’d like you to come on the cruise with us so we can have more time for social engagements.”

  Lillianna nodded. She wasn’t thrilled with the idea, but at least she wouldn’t have to worry about Congressman Stevenson staying back to ‘finish up work’.

  “You’ll need some other clothes, so we’ll have to go shopping. Don’t worry. We’ll be paying for your outfits.”

  “My Amish clothes are not good enough?”

  “I’m afraid not. It would probably be best for Clay and for you if people didn’t know you’re Amish. It would bring too much publicity and we’d rather stay away from that, especially after that last article they printed.”

  Lillianna nodded slowly.

  “Don’t worry. We’ll find you some modest outfits.” Candace glanced up at the clock. “We don’t have much going on this evening. Let’s go today after Clay gets home. He can watch the children so we can shop worry-free.”

  “He will watch the kinner?”

  Candace laughed. “He does that once in a while to give me a little time to myself. He’s pretty good with them.”

  “If you think that would be okay.” Lillianna couldn’t imagine leaving her own children with that man, but these were his children. Perhaps she shouldn’t be concerned. Just knowing what he was capable of, though, cast doubt on his character. Clay Stevenson was nothing like the man those around him perceived him to be. “We could take them with us.”

  Candace smiled and shook her head. “You’ve never seen them at the mall.”

  You’ve never seen your husband alone with me. Lillianna wished with all her heart that she could utter those words, but she didn’t have that liberty. She would keep her secret for as long as she had to – just until Thomas finished his treatments.

  <><><>

  Upon receiving his mail, Thomas retreated to his room for privacy. He pulled out the envelope he’d been anticipating – a letter from his sister. He ran his hand over his sister’s handwriting and a wash of memories swept over him. He remembered harvesting tobacco with Dat and his two younger brothers, Eli and William. Most of the women were inside working, but his sister, Rhoda, had been penning a letter to her beau, who eventually became her husband. Those were some the happiest times in his life; well, along with meeting his sweet girl at the pond.

  Thomas shook his head to refocus. They’d be serving dinner soon, so he only had a few minutes of quiet time. A lump stuck in his throat as he slipped his finger under the envelope flap. What would Rhoda say? Would she chastise him for leaving their siblings behind?

  Dear Thomas,

  You don’t know what good it did my heart when I received your letter! The truth is I’d been frettin’ about you, wondering if you were still alive. I’m very sorry to hear that you have cancer. I will pray for you.

  You didn’t say in your letter if you are still Amish or no. I hope you are. You know that Bishop Mast will require a kneeling confession if you’re to come back home. I will not be able to allow you into our home. I’m sorry, but you know that is the way it has to be. We can still visit outside, jah?

  If you want to join a faster district nearby, I ’spect Bishop Hostettler will probably receive you. You know they are not as strict to the Old Ways. I’m certain sure Bishop Mast wouldn’t like me suggesting that to you, but I’d rather have you near than somewhere far away. Mamm and Dat would probably want you close too.

  Our brieder and schweschdern are well. Katie got herself hitched last fall to Ira Yoder. They’re expectin’ a boppli now. The boys are growin’ big and you have yet to meet your niece and nephew. I miss you, Thomas. I hope you’ll come back home.

  Only your sister,

  Rhoda

  Thomas folded the letter and slid it back into its envelope. It was a shame his siblings were still so steeped in tradition. A visit would be difficult, no doubt, but it didn’t negate his desire to see them. Of course, a visit would still be many months off, if not over a year.

  He desired to take Lillianna on a nice honeymoon. Hawaii, perhaps?

  <><><>

  Candace and Lillianna walked through the ladies’ section of the department store. Other than in Candace’s closet and Mamm’s garden, Lillianna had never seen such an array of colors. She’d certainly never had this many hues to choose from. Most of them had been forbidden her entire life. She’d been restricted to blues, grays, and browns mostly.

  “Choose several tops and bottoms, then you can try them on,” Candace urged.

  Lillianna browsed through several racks of clothing, but had a difficult time deciding what would be appropriate. “Where are the dresses?”

  “Dresses?” Candace smiled. “They would be in a different section. You may select some skirts and tops as well, if you prefer them to pants.” She led the way to another section of the ladies’ department.

  “I don’t know what to choose,” Lillianna admitted.

  “Would you like for me to give you suggestions?”

  Lillianna nodded.

  “Personally, I love to mix and match.”

  Lillianna’s lips twisted. She had no idea what Candace was talking about.

  “See? Take this floral skirt and find two tops that will go with it – tops that are the same color as some of the flowers or leaves in the skirt. You could get a plum-colored shirt and also a green one. Both would look great with this. If you buy plain skirts, you can do the same thing.”

  Lillianna smiled. This idea of shopping appealed to her more and more. But she must be cautious and not set her heart on worldly things. She was only shopping for Englisch clothes because it was what the Stevensons insisted on. She had a distinct feeling, though, that Thomas wouldn’t mind seeing her in some of these outfits too.

  “When we’re done here, we’ll have to go find you a bathing suit.”

  “Bathing suit? I don’t think I’d be comfortable wearing an Englisch bathing suit.” Lillianna had to speak up. She couldn’t imagine being half-dressed in a public place, especially if Clay Stevenson was anywhere around.
<
br />   “Don’t worry, Lilly. They do have modest bathing suits, and we can buy a cover-up if you’d like. That’s like a small dress that goes over the suit.”

  Lillianna blew out a breath. This was definitely out of her comfort zone.

  “You’ll need a bathing suit to take the children to the pool.”

  “There’s a pool on the boat?” Lillianna’s eyes bulged.

  Candace nodded. “Just wait, Lilly. You’re going to have the time of your life.”

  Somehow, Lillianna couldn’t imagine ever having a good time so long as Clay Stevenson was around.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  “Well, I’d say you’re lucky,” Thomas’ voice echoed through the telephone.

  Lillianna’s chin dropped. “Lucky?”

  “Yeah. Think about it, Lil. You live in a fancy house with everything you can imagine at your disposal. You get to ride around in a limousine; most people pay hundreds of dollars to rent those for just a few hours. Now, you’re going on a luxury cruise and you don’t have to pay a penny.”

  Thomas had no idea. What he saw as a dream-come-true, was actually a nightmare.

  “The Stevensons wanted me to get some Englisch clothes for the trip – even a bathing suit. I went shopping with Candace the other day.”

  “A bathing suit? I’d love to see you in one of those. Uh, after we’re married, of course.”

  “I wish you could go with me, Tommy.”

  “You don’t know how much I’d love to. Maybe someday the two of us can go,” he offered.

  “I probably won’t call you for a week.”

  “When do you leave?”