An Unforgivable Secret (Amish Secrets--Book 1) Page 2

  Hannah found Deborah and Peter near the front of the auditorium and quickly made her way to them before they disappeared.

  “Hannah, Peter’s going to take me home,” Deborah stated matter-of-factly. “You don’t mind taking the buggy by yourself, do you?” Deborah’s eyes pleaded.

  Hannah sighed. She didn’t relish driving the buggy alone at night, but she wouldn’t begrudge her sister’s request. Hannah knew time alone with a beau was few and far between, and she often coveted more time with Christian. She nodded and gave Deb the ‘you’d better stay out of trouble’ look.

  Deborah squealed and hugged her sister. “Denki, Hannah.”

  Hannah made her way out to the lobby with purse in hand and searched for Samuel to say goodbye, but he was nowhere to be seen. After she exited the large glass doors, she found the buggy in the parking lot. Thankfully the lot was well lit, because she didn’t care to be alone in a public place after dark. She stroked Winnie’s coat a few times before ascending the buggy. Somehow, having a horse with her gave her a semblance of companionship and security.

  “Hannah!” She heard Samuel’s voice call out as he sprinted toward her. Hannah turned to his attention as he neared the buggy. “Do you mind if I catch a ride with ya? My ride left without me,” he explained.

  “Only if you agree to drive,” she said smiling.

  “Deal,” he agreed.

  Hannah moved over and handed the reins to Samuel. “I’m glad you’re here. I don’t care to drive alone in the dark.”

  “And I’m glad you’re here because I don’t like to walk home alone in the dark,” he said setting the horse in motion.

  Hannah laughed. “I reckon you were worse off than I was. It’s too bad your Englisch friends left you all alone.” Hannah knew Samuel and Christian had Englisch friends they sometimes hung out with. In fact, many of the Plain people had Englisch friends. But she knew Christian would be at home sleeping after working hard in the field all day.

  If only that were the case, Samuel thought. He moved the buggy out onto the main road now, heading toward their small rural community. “Are ya goin’ to the gathering tomorrow night?” Samuel asked.

  “Jah. Me and Christian are,” she said.

  Samuel sighed. Hannah is so trusting. Doesn’t Christian realize what he’s doing? She is such a wonderful girl. Samuel hated to see Hannah get her heart broken, but he felt it wasn’t his place to say anything about Christian’s unfaithfulness. He would bide his time in silence.

  “Are ya still writing to Carolanne?” she asked.

  “Jah.” Although, at this moment he felt his heart was betraying her.

  “How is it out in Ohio? Is it as beautiful as Lancaster County?” she wondered aloud.

  “It’s nice,” he said eying Hannah up and down out of the corner of his eye. “But not near as beautiful.” Yep, he was definitely betraying her. You are a hypocrite, Samuel Beachy. How can you bemoan Christian’s unfaithfulness to Hannah when your own thoughts are betraying Carolanne? Samuel shook off his conscience. Carolanne is not betrothed to me.

  “Denki for the ride, Samuel. And your company at the movie theater,” Hannah offered, as they neared her property.

  The pleasure is all mine. “Gern Gheschen. I’ll just unhitch the buggy and put Winnie up, then walk home. You may go inside already if you’d like. I know you’re tired.”

  “All right. Guten nacht, Samuel.”

  Samuel watched as Hannah safely entered her quiet home. Too bad I never had a chance with her. Nonetheless, he would look forward to seeing her tomorrow night. Even if she was sitting next to his unworthy best friend.

  Chapter 2

  Christian Glick contemplated the young folks gathering he and Hannah would be attending tonight. He enjoyed spending time with his friends in his Amish community, but also liked hanging out with his Englisch friends. He thought about Kristine, the Englisch girl he’d seen a few times. She was cute with her curly short blonde hair and turned up nose. Not to mention her figure that he couldn’t help but notice when she wore her tight jeans and low-cut blouse.

  If Hannah ever found out…he wouldn’t think about that now. He and Samuel were the only ones in their Plain community that he knew of, who knew about Kristine. And he completely trusted his best friend Samuel. They had been good friends since their school days and there was no one who knew Samuel better than he did. He knew he would eventually have to cut Kristine off when he got baptized into the church in the fall, but he was enjoying his last few days of rumspringa. He also knew he’d never marry a girl like Kristine. She would never be the kind of wife he desired. No, Hannah was the one for him.

  Christian’s conscience did prick him, though, when he was with Hannah. The two girls were so different. Kristine was bubbly and excitable, while Hannah was more down-to-earth and thoughtful. He wished that he could somehow have both of them wrapped up into one, but he couldn’t. Because he planned to remain Amish all his days, he decided Hannah would be the best choice for a mate.

  But for some reason, he couldn’t get the kisses out of his mind that he and Kristine had shared in the back seat of her car last night. He and Hannah had kissed before too, but she definitely wasn’t as willing as Kristine was. Perhaps that’s why our leaders are always warning us about courting so many different girls. It seems like I’m always comparing Hannah and Kristine to each other and I know it isn’t fair to either of them. I need to tell Kristine goodbye next time I see her, he decided. But tonight, I’m going to ask Hannah to marry me.

 

  Hannah knew Christian would be in her driveway any minute. She had taken extra care to pin up her hair just so, and was sure to wear Christian’s favorite dress that brought out the green in her hazel eyes. She pinched her cheeks to add a little color to her face and sprayed on a bit of wildflower perfume.

  “Your kapp is crooked,” Miriam Stolzfus called from the door, smiling.

  Hannah startled. “Ach, Mamm. I didn’t know you were there.”

  “Christian will think you look just fine.”

  Hannah’s eyes widened and her mouth hung open. “Ach, how did you know Christian Glick was courtin’ me?”

  “I have eyes, don’t I?” Mamm said.

  “Is it that obvious?”

  “It’s nearly impossible to miss the look of love. I’ve seen your eyes wander his way more than once.” Miriam neared and helped Hannah secure her kapp into place. “You know, your dat and I will miss you when you’re gone.”

  “Ach, Mamm. Christian hasn’t even asked me yet,” Hannah said.

  “No, but I’m certain he will. He’d be a foolish man to let a girl like you get away. And I know Christian Glick is no fool.”

  Deborah’s voice called from the stairs, “Hannah, you-know-who is waiting at the end of the lane for you.”

  “I gotta go, Mamm. Denki for everything.” Hannah leaned over and kissed her mother’s cheek, something she didn’t do often but felt was appropriate at present.

  She hurried out the door and calmly walked, like a respectable Amish woman should, to Christian’s carriage. Christian leaned over and held out his hand to assist her entrance into the buggy.

  “How’s my favorite maedel doing?” Christian’s gorgeous blue eyes sparkled. Truthfully, it peeved Hannah when he spoke like that. It sounded as though he had more than one aldi. But she knew he was only teasing, so she just smiled.

  “Fine. And how are you?” she asked.

  “Better than ever now that you’re by my side,” Christian charmed.

  “You’re ferhoodled,” Hannah said laughingly.

  “Nee. Just ab im kopp over you.” Christian took her hand to his lips and kissed it.

  “Ach, Christian we’re in broad daylight. Anyone can see,” she protested. “Besides, I think you'd better pay attention to the road.”

  “Don’t worry, Lieb. Cowboy knows the way to the Yoders’,” Christian said confidently. “And I don’t care who sees. Everyone will soon know how much you mea
n to me.”

  Hannah gave him a sideways glance. What did he mean by that? “You really are acting strange.”

  “Maybe I’m just excited that you’re going to say yes to what I’m going to ask you.”

  “What if I say no?” Hannah asked defiantly, still clueless as to what they were talking about.

  “You really don’t want to get hitched?” Christian’s previous excitement deflated.

  “What? Hitched?” Hannah asked in surprise. “Christian Glick, are you asking me to marry you?”

  “Jah, that’s what I was going to ask,” he said quietly.

  “Yes. I’ll marry you,” she answered calmly.

  Christian guided Cowboy off the road and brought the rig to a stop. He leaned over and kissed Hannah full on the lips. “Denki, Hannah,” he said excitedly. “You won’t be sorry. And I know you’ll make a wunderbaar fraa too. We’ll have lots of kinner.” He passionately kissed her again and she gently pushed him away.

  “Yes, Christian, but the kinner have to come later,” she emphasized.

  “Uh, jah, right.” Christian sheepishly scooted back to his side of the buggy seat, but his eyes sparkled with joy.

 

  Samuel noticed that Hannah and Christian were beaming as they entered the young folks gathering in the Yoders’ barn. As soon as he was able to catch Christian’s attention, he signaled him outside for a chat. Reluctantly, Christian left Hannah’s side and joined him behind the barn.

  “What’s going on, Christian?” Samuel asked coolly.

  “I asked Hannah to marry me and she said yes,” he said quietly so nobody but Samuel could hear.

  “Are you crazy?” Samuel hissed disgustedly.

  “What do mean? Don’t you think she’s a great girl?” Christian played dumb.

  “That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it,” Samuel said, looking around to be sure no one else was nearby to eavesdrop on their conversation. He lowered his voice and looked intently at Christian. “What about the Englisch girl? You know, the one you ditched me for last night?”

  “Oh yeah, sorry about that. I see you found a way home,” Christian said nonchalantly. “Don't worry about Kristine, I’ll drop her next Friday.”

  Exasperated, Samuel found controlling his volume difficult. “I can’t believe you. You’re betrothed to an Amish girl and you have a date with an Englisch girl on Friday? Don't you think you're doin' things in the wrong order?”

  “Back off, Samuel. It’s nobody’s business but mine. And no one knows about that except you and me. And that’s the way we’re going to keep it. Right?”

  “You’re not being fair to Hannah,” Samuel insisted.

  “I told you that I’m breaking things off with the Englisch girl,” Christian spewed.

  “Fine. I won’t say anything,” he spat back. “But if you don’t end it Friday –”

  “I said I would,” Christian said curtly before stomping off. He couldn’t go back into the barn now. Hannah would see his frustrated countenance and know something was wrong. He needed to take a walk to cool down and gather his wits about him. Why did Samuel care so much anyway?

 

  “So, is it true?” Deborah whispered across the room to Hannah as they lay awake in bed that night.

  “What?”

  “Okay, I’ll spell it out for you.” She rolled her eyes. “Did Christian really ask you to marry him?”

  “Where did you hear that?” Hannah wondered aloud.

  “Answer my question first,” Deborah insisted.

  “Deb, you know these things are supposed to be kept secret.”

  “Well?”

  “Jah. But you better not tell anybody.”

  Deborah squealed, “He did? For real?”

  Hannah nodded, unsure if Deborah could even see her in the dark.

  “I thought so. That’s so romantic! What did he say?”

  “I’m not going to tell you!”

  “I wonder what happened between Christian and Samuel at the gathering,” Deborah commented, changing the subject.

  “I’m sure it’s none of your business.”

  “So, you don’t know? You didn’t even ask Christian why Samuel left early?”

  “It’s none of my business either,” Hannah insisted.

  “Sally said she heard them arguing outside Yoders’ barn. She thought it was about you,” Deborah said.

  “That’s enough, Deb. What happens between Samuel and Christian is their business and nobody else’s.”

  “Aren’t you at all curious?”

  “No, now go to sleep. I’ve got to get up early tomorrow.” Hannah rolled over and pulled the sheet up over her shoulders, kicking off the heavy quilt. As she drifted off to sleep, though, she did wonder what had transpired between Christian and Samuel. Surely it wasn’t about her.

  Chapter 3

  Hannah scanned the occupants of the crowded restaurant. Their brightly-colored clothing seemed to mesh with the fifties décor that adorned the otherwise plain walls. Yep, once again, she was the only plainly-dressed person in the dining room. Of course, what respectable Amish person would be out at this hour anyway? Certainly not her, if she didn’t feel it was necessary to tag along with her sister. Why couldn’t Deborah just see her beau at the Amish gatherings and singings they attended?

  They seemed to be sufficient for her and Christian. And now she was betrothed to her handsome beau! At first, she’d been a little surprised that Christian had asked. After all, they’d barely been courting for a year now. But she gladly said yes in anticipation of fulfilling all of her childhood dreams. She’d once read a storybook in the waiting room at the dentist’s office. Mamm had been busy with little Deborah at the time so she didn’t realize Hannah had sneaked over to the basket of books in the corner. She read all about a princess that longed to find the man of her dreams, her perfect prince. She just knew that one day a nice Amish boy, who was head-over-heels for her, would one day sweep her off her feet and they’d live happily ever after. And she’d finally found the one.

  While she haphazardly perused the menu for the third time, she finally decided on a bowl of fruit and a small salad. She did not need to add on any extra pounds, especially in light of her upcoming wedding. As she studied a poster of a person called Elvis on the wall, pondering why he wore such a funny hair-do, more patrons came pouring in. Although the restaurant seemed to portray a bygone era, customers enjoyed the atmosphere. Hannah’s main gripe was the Englischers’ songs that seemed to get stuck in her head. It wouldn’t be so bad if she didn’t like them, but the love songs seemed to have a lasting effect causing her heart to flip-flop when she heard them. They just made her long for her wedding day even more.

  “Deb, I don’t know why you and Peter insist on seeing each other every free moment you get,” Hannah complained when Peter had gotten up to ask for a refill of their ketchup bottle.

  “That’s because we’re still in love. The flame hasn’t died out like it has with you and Christian,” Deborah teased.

  “Christian and I are getting along just fine and you know it,” Hannah insisted.

  Deborah suddenly shielded her face. “Oh my…don’t look now, Hannah,” Deborah warned. “But Christian is here with Englisch friends.”

  “What?” Hannah couldn’t help but turn around after hearing that.

  Sure enough, there was Christian dressed in Englisch clothes. His hair was combed differently, similar to the Englisch styles of some of the other young men in the restaurant. She had to admit he looked handsome as an Englischer. She quickly turned back around and placed a hand over her rapidly-beating heart.

  What is Christian doing here? Discreetly, she turned around to look at the corner booth on the opposite side of the restaurant where he sat with three other Englisch dressed young people – another guy and two girls. Christian sat next to an immodestly dressed girl and…he’s holding her hand? Hannah heard Christian’s hearty laugh carry across the noisy restaurant and he lea
ned over and kissed the Englisch girl on the lips. Oh no, this cannot be happening!

  Tears filled Hannah’s eyes. “Deb, I want to go home now.”

  Deborah looked back over to the booth to see what was going on. “Oh Hannah, I’m so sorry. Okay, let’s go. I’ll tell Peter we need to leave. We’ll slip out so Christian doesn’t see,” Deborah said cooperatively. She hurried to the bar stools where Peter stood patiently waiting for the ketchup and quickly whispered something in his ear. He glanced over Deb’s shoulder at Hannah and nodded, then pecked Deborah on the cheek, causing her to blush. Peter had never been so forward in public. Perhaps it was his way of giving Deb his reassurance.

  After a hasty exit from the restaurant, Hannah and Deborah set for home at a steady trot. “Ach, Hannah. What are you going to do?” Deb asked.

  Hannah brushed away a fresh wave of tears with shaky hands. “I don’t know. I had no idea. Why would he ask me to marry him if he was seeing an Englisch girl?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “I can’t go to the singing now.”

  “Oh yes you can and you will, Hannah Stolzfus! You are not going to let that…that dummkopp ruin your life. You are going to go to the singing and let him have a piece of your mind,” Deborah stated forcefully.

  “Nee…I couldn’t do that,” Hannah replied to her strong-willed sister.

  “Well, if you won’t then I will!”

  “This doesn’t concern you, Deb. Please don’t say anything. I…I will talk to Christian,” she said unsurely as her stomach turned over. “Let’s not talk about this anymore. I don’t feel well.”

  Deborah wrung her hands. “All right…ugh, that good-for-nothing, two-timing –”

  “Deb, please.”

  “Okay, then give me the reins because I need something to take my mind off that…that…man,” she insisted.

 

  Hannah sank into her bed and wept into her pillow, hoping Deborah couldn’t hear her sobs in her bed across the room. Moonlight filtered in through the blinds illuminating their bedroom, but the bright glow couldn’t penetrate the darkness that surrounded her heart. All of Hannah’s expectations and dreams for the future had been crushed this terrible night. So many condescending thoughts had filled her mind and she couldn’t help but second guess herself. What’s wrong with me? Am I too boring for him? Am I so inadequate that Christian has to have an Englisch girl too? I must not be pretty enough. And I know my body could never compete with the Englisch girl’s perfect figure. Why, God? What did I do wrong?