The Teacher (Amish Country Brides) Read online

  “Ach, it’s quiet in here. Where is everyone?”

  “Michael took his family on a picnic. It’s the perfect day for it, ain’t not?”

  “It is, for sure.” Jaden frowned. “Why didn’t you go along?”

  Sammy shrugged. “I felt like I should stay home.” He smiled and his eyes connected with Jaden’s. “Now I know why.”

  “So you stayed home because you…” Jaden shook his head. “It doesn’t make sense.”

  “I’ve learned that I don’t always know why Der Herr prompts me to do things. But if I follow His leading, I sometimes get to see His hand at work.” Sammy glanced at the Bible that Jaden was holding. “I’m assuming you’ve come to see me?”

  “I surely did.”

  “Well, then. Let me chust pour a glass of sweet tea for each of us and we’ll sit out on the porch. How does that sound?”

  Jaden smiled. “Great.”

  A few moments later, cups in hand, Jaden and Sammy sipped tea on the porch swing.

  “Now,” Sammy said. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”

  Jaden shook his head. “I don’t think you want to know everything that’s on my mind.”

  “Try me.” Sammy challenged.

  “Seriously?”

  “They call me the secret keeper. You tell me something, it will never pass my lips without your permission. Unless I’m talking to Der Herr, of course. But He already knows everything anyhow.”

  “You know how you suggested I read Romans?”

  Sammy nodded.

  “Well, I started today. And for the life of me, I can’t find the hope and encouragement you mentioned.” He shrugged. “I don’t know if I’m reading it wrong or misunderstanding or…I don’t know. But I’ve only read one chapter so far, so maybe that’s why.”

  “What did you learn from the chapter you read, assuming it was chapter one?”

  “It was.” Jaden shook his head. “It was hard. I felt like it was condemning.”

  “Which part?”

  Jaden opened the Bible to the place where he’d stuck a bookmark. He began reading silently, but couldn’t get himself to utter the words aloud. He pointed out the passage he was referring to. “There. Verse twenty-seven. And then verse thirty-two.”

  Jaden braced himself while Sammy read the verses he’d indicated. “And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.”

  When Sammy finished, he looked at Jaden. But instead of seeing what he thought would be disapproval, he saw compassion. “Sohn, are you struggling with this?”

  Tears pricked Jaden’s eyes. He’d never spoken to anyone Amish about this. He’d never admitted it to anyone for fear of rejection. Anyone. And if anybody ever knew…

  “I just, I don’t know what to think about it.” Jaden nodded and swiped away a tear, exposing his vulnerability. “I’m different. I think I might be gay, Sammy.”

  “And why do you think that?”

  “Because that’s how I feel. Like what you read in verse twenty-seven. That is what I’m attracted to.”

  “Did something happen to you, Jaden?” Concern reflected in Sammy’s eyes.

  “You mean, with another person?”

  Sammy nodded. “A man?”

  “Jah, but there were two of them. Englischers. Not men, but teenagers. I was younger yet. I didn’t want to. I didn’t feel like I had a choice. Or maybe I did, but I was just too scared to say no.” He swallowed down his emotion. “So I pretended that I liked it, and it kept happening.”

  “Ach, sohn. I’m sorry.” Sammy hung his head. “That should not have happened.”

  “This is how I am now, and I kind of feel powerless against it. But I know deep inside that it isn’t right. Not just because of what verse thirty-two said and the verses I’ve heard about in the old testament. It’s just something I’ve always known in my heart. I know it is wrong, although I have read things that say it is right and okay and a normal thing. But I am not convinced that it is.”

  Sammy set his tea down. “First of all, sin is a normal thing. We are all sinners. My sin might be different than yours, but the result is the same. We are both going against Der Herr’s commands. We all struggle with one thing or another. The struggle itself is not a sin, but giving into it and allowing it to dwell in our hearts and minds is.”

  Jaden nodded.

  “Paul Miller mentioned you were interested in a maedel. Is that true?”

  “Ach, it is. And that’s part of what makes it so confusing.” He shook his head.

  “Confusion comes from the evil one. The world tells us these things are okay, acceptable, and even to be celebrated. They say they are celebrating “love,” but it is not love. Gott is love. And celebrating a sin that Gott tells us to abstain from—that He outright says is an abomination—is not love in any way, shape, or form. But that does not mean that Gott does not love them. He loved them—all of us—enough to shed His own blood. While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. That is what love is, what love looks like.

  “Satan is the god of this world and every chance he gets, he lies and deceives. His goal is to kill, steal, and destroy. He’s brought many a gut man down. It started in the Garden of Eden. He lied to Eve and told her that the fruit was gut. He convinced her that something Gott had said was evil, was good. The devil wants to trip you up. He wants you to live in misery, a life of defeat. But Der Herr wants you to live the life He prepared for you. He wants you to live in victory.”

  “I don’t know what that is or how to do it, Sammy.”

  “It is Der Herr that does it for you.” Sammy held out his hand. “Let me see that Bible.”

  Jaden handed it to Sammy.

  “Before I read these verses, I want to ask you something.”

  “Okay.” Jaden blew out a breath, bracing himself.

  “How do we know right from wrong, or good from evil? Is it something we decide for ourselves or do you think it comes from somewhere or Someone else?”

  “You had to go and ask an easy question.” Jaden jested. “I think maybe it depends on what it is.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, I’m not sure there is a right and wrong to everything. Take my blue shirt, for example. Would it have been wrong for me to wear green today?”

  Sammy chuckled. “You’re right. No, we do have a lot of choices that don’t directly involve right or wrong. But more specifically, I’m referring to morality. Like, say, stealing. Is stealing wrong?”

  “Jah.”

  “Why is it wrong?”

  “Because you’re taking something that doesn’t belong to you. You didn’t work for it, or earn it, and it wasn’t given to you, so it’s wrong. Not to mention, it’s against the law.”

  “But what if a body was raised being taught it was okay?”

  “It’s still wrong.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it’s one of the Ten Commandments.”

  “But what if someone didn’t believe in Gott? Is it okay for them?”

  “No. It’s never okay. And I don’t think people have to believe in Gott to know that. It’s just common sense.”

  “So would you say it’s a natural law, a universal law?”

  “Jah, I would. It’s something that all humans know instinctively.”

  “Even little ones?” Sammy challenged.

  “Maybe not at first, but they will learn without anyone telling them. Have you ever watched bopplin while they are playing? One will have a toy, then another one will come and take it. Then the one who had it in the first place will cry or hit or bite the one who took it. They know they’ve been done wrong.”

  Sammy chuckled. “That’s a pretty gut illustration.”

  “I think I get what you’re saying. We are not the ones who decide what is right and wrong, it is already decided for us.”

 
“Pretty much. But also that truth itself is immutable. It isn’t something that changes or can be changed. It is a constant. No matter what one’s thoughts or feelings are on the matter. Does that make sense?”

  “Yes. Definitely.”

  “Okay.” Sammy held up the Bible. “Now that we’ve got that settled, I will show you what Gott desires for each of us.”

  Jaden watched as Sammy turned to a passage near the back of the book. How did he know where to find things so easily?

  “I’m in 2 Peter 3. The context is the end of the world and Der Herr’s coming, but Gott tells us His will in the second part of the verse. I’ll chust read the whole thing. The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. So, you see, His will is that nobody perish and that everyone repent—”

  “Perish? Does that mean to cease to exist?”

  “In some cases, jah. In other cases, such as this one, it means to be lost eternally or to be sentenced to endless misery, according to Noah Webster.”

  “Yikes. That sounds disturbing. Scary.”

  “Jah. It is. Hell is for the devil and his angels. Which is why Gott made a way for anyone and everyone to escape it. We know this because of the verse I just read and because of what John wrote in chapter three of his Gospel. That is why Jesus Christ came, so that all people could be saved, if they choose to be. And it doesn’t matter what they’ve done. We are all sinners, our sins are chust different.”

  “Why would anyone choose not to be saved from that?”

  “Have you chosen?”

  Jaden frowned. “What do you mean? I’m Amish.”

  “That’s not what I’m referring to. And being Amish doesn’t get you to Heaven any more than being in the barn makes you a horse.” Sammy shook his head. “Let’s go back to the book of Romans. Do you remember what you read?”

  “Certainly not all of it.”

  “Paul said in verse sixteen, ‘I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth,’ and I’ll chust stop reading right there. You see that? There’s some of the hope and encouragement I was talking about. The Gospel of Christ, which Paul explains in 1 Corinthians 15, is this, ‘That Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures.’ And Paul said that he wasn’t ashamed because it meant salvation for everyone who believes it.”

  Jaden blew out a breath, trying to take in everything Sammy had just said.

  “The hope and encouragement are that we don’t have to die in our sins. We can secure salvation and escape Hell. Not only that, but we are free from sin. It no longer has a hold on us, if we are saved and belong to Him.”

  “But I don’t understand how that can be.”

  “When you believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and are saved, something wunderbaar happens. The Holy Spirit, Gott’s Spirit, comes and lives inside you. He gives you the strength you need to overcome temptation and sin. And guess what? The Bible says that if we resist the devil, he will flee from us.” Sammy’s smile stretched across his face. “Isn’t that a wunderbaar verse?”

  “So, if I believe in Jesus, I won’t sin anymore?” His brow furrowed. That didn’t seem right.

  Sammy chuckled wryly. “Ach, if only it were that easy, sohn. I’m afraid not. While it is true that Der Herr’s Spirit comes to live inside us, it is up to us to make the right decisions. It is still our choice. He is our guide. He shows us which way to go, but He does not force us to walk down the path. He will lead, but it’s our choice to follow or no. Do you understand?”

  “Jah, I think so.”

  “Someday, though, believers will get new bodies. And those bodies won’t be subject to sin. Ach, won’t that be a wunderbaar day?” Sammy sighed. “We must never put our confidence in the flesh, because the flesh will fail us every time. We must walk in the Spirit, and we must purpose in our heart to follow Der Herr and do what we know is right. The Apostle Paul had the same struggle. You’ll read about that in Romans seven.”

  “Romans again, huh?”

  “Chock-full of gut stuff, it is.”

  “Sammy, how do I believe in Jesus? I mean, I do believe in Him. But I don’t know if I’m saved. You know what I mean?”

  “Jah, I think I do. That’s how I was for years. I almost missed Heaven by twelve inches.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I believed with my head, but not with my heart. I had an intellectual knowledge of what Jesus had done.” Sammy tapped his temple. “But not a personal relationship with Him. I never received Him.” He placed his hand on his heart. “And that makes all the difference. The Bible says that even the devils believe and tremble.”

  Jaden nodded. “It makes sense.”

  “Now, listen to what the Bible says in—you guessed it, Romans again—it’s in chapter ten this time.” He opened the Bible. “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. Verse thirteen says, For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” He looked at Jaden. “Just talk to Gott. Tell Him what’s on your heart.”

  “Okay. Should I do it right here? Right now? In front of you?”

  “Unless you’d rather have privacy. In that case, I could take a walk or go into the house.”

  “I don’t mind you being here. Besides, you can help me if I say something wrong.”

  “Ach, it’s not about speaking the right words. Der Herr is interested in what’s in your heart. If you speak from your heart, that is all that matters.”

  Jaden blew out a breath, then bowed his head. “Dear Gott.” And suddenly he was overcome with emotion. He couldn’t utter another word. Instead, he wept for several minutes.

  Sammy must’ve sensed Jaden’s need for comfort because he pulled him close and held him until he’d silently told Gott everything on his heart.

  When he nodded, Sammy released him.

  “Denki.” Jaden dried the last of his tears. Ach, he’d never cried so much in his life.

  “You are now a child of Gott.” Sammy smiled. “Welcome to the family.”

  “May I ask you something, Sammy?”

  “Of course.”

  “Do you think I can ever have a normal relationship with a woman? As a husband?”

  “With Der Herr’s help, I believe you can. Remember how we talked about Gott’s Spirit coming to live inside you? The Apostle Paul said, ‘I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.’ You can be sure that Gott is going to help you—from the inside out. Paul also said, ‘I die daily.’ So I think what we need to do is ask Gott for His help and guidance every day, before our feet even hit the ground. Remember, greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world. Der Herr is ready and waiting to help you.”

  Jaden released a sigh, then excitement began bubbling inside him. If Sammy thought he could build a real relationship with Martha, then Jaden believed it was possible too.

  “With Gott, all things are possible.” Sammy patted him on the back.

  ELEVEN

  Jaden felt like a new man as he traveled back toward his brother’s house. Sammy had written down some Scripture references that he said would be helpful. One of them had really stuck in Jaden’s head. Sammy said that he needed to remind himself of that verse every time his thoughts strayed.

  He’d already begun committing the verse to memory, but he didn’t know the whole thing by heart yet. He looked down at the verse. “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” Now, if he could only remember that verse when the bad thoughts popped into his head.

/>   Sammy’s words echoed in his mind. “Remember, it is Der Herr who made them male and female at the beginning. He put them together in the garden, and designed each of them to complement each other perfectly. He is the one who created the family, and the only one who has the authority to define what the family is.”

  Jaden thought about Martha now. Ach, he needed to talk to her. He needed to make things right and restore their friendship.

  “Gott, please help me. I don’t want to fall again. Will You hold me up and guide me?”

  Instead of going inside, he made his way out to the phone shanty. He’d call the Millers and see if Martha would talk to him. He picked up the phone and dialed the number, which was conveniently posted in the Amish directory his bruder kept in the small shanty.

  “Hi, this is Jaden. Martha, will you please call me back today, if possible? I’ll check the phone at noon, then again at two. Thanks.” He gave the number, then hung up.

  As he moseyed back toward the house, he thought on what he would say to Martha. He wasn’t ready to—ach, the phone! He ran back toward the shanty. His bruder had said the answering machine was set to answer after five rings. He picked it up on the last ring, then tried to figure out how to turn the answering machine off.

  The caller had hung up. He quickly dialed Martha’s number again.

  “Hello?” It was Martha!

  “Martha, oh good, I’d hoped to reach you.”

  “Jaden?”

  “Jah, it’s me. Uh, listen. Are you available tomorrow afternoon?”

  “Well, we don’t have church this week, but my folks were planning to go visit with Silas’s and Paul’s families.”

  “Do you know what time you plan to return home?”

  “Likely for supper, but I could take the pony cart separately then come home early. I mean, if you were thinking of coming by.”

  “Is two o’clock a gut time, then?”

  “Jah, that should work fine.”

  Jaden couldn’t stop from smiling. “Gut. I’ll see you tomorrow at two, then. Gott willing.”

  “Okay.”

  “Goodbye.” He waited until she responded, then listened for her end to click off.